It is time to retell my tale on my journey with mindful living.
The time has come for me to retell the story of my journey with mindfulness. I have spoken a bit about how I got involved in embodying a more mindful lifestyle, however today I want to get into the whole story.
As I have stated in previous blogs posts, my journey began back during the early days of the pandemic when we were all in lockdown. I was a student at the University of Reading studying for my Masters degree which I did in Digital Marketing and I was introduced to meditation through a 21-day meditation challenge. I was hooked pretty quickly, having had an intense yet thrilling first experience with meditating and it has taken me on a long, winding path full of vast exploration.
I should state now that some sections of this article will be hard for me to fully articulate as I have not truly opened up about some of my experiences until now. Not that I had bad experiences – it was more the lens through which I perceived my journey has shifted and been more like blinders at certain times rather than crisp spectacles.
Much of my journey has been dictated by boundaries of work which is hardly surprising considering that what I do is creating a database of all of the various types of mindfulness practices. This has sometimes made my personal direction a tad jaded – when what you do for work is the exact same as what you do across the rest of your life, it can get a little stunted, a bit boring which means it becomes difficult for me (at times) to remain dedicated to my practice. It also tends to cause my practice to shift around a lot, often suddenly as I take on new practices and shed older ones.
In fact, as I have conducted intense research over the past 2-3 years, I can honestly say that my own practice has been extremely manipulated, to the point where I have had to accept that I do not actually have a properly established practice. This is a personal goal of mine now: to re-establish my practice (and stick with it).
To rewind a little bit. I should mention that my early practice was heavily laced with the spiritual side of things. I got fairly involved in spiritual practices and leaning into the association that mindfulness is very spiritual and alternative. Which it is in both cases, but not necessarily in the “hippy-dippy” that has been made popular over the years. Yes, sometimes it is “hippy-dippy”. You’ve got your mystics, your witches, your shamans and so on. But mindfulness can be incredibly scientific too and more and more, we are seeing proof that mindfulness is just as quantitative as it is qualitative. By that I mean, we are proving that it affects our brains and our bodies in positive ways and is beneficial. It is not just “hokum”. I use this words with heavy emphasis on the quotation marks by the way.
I personally, fell down the rabbit hole with spirituality and not in the most positive way. It took a while for me to make sense of it but I realized that a lot of practitioners in the spiritual end of things were highly toxic and preached equally toxic things. Whether it was intentional or ignorance I do not know. But I came to feel deeply that this particular approach to mindfulness was not for me. I ended up having to create a huge separation from spirituality – and by association, mindfulness – for a while, as I rerouted.
It became clear in these months that mindfulness transcends science and spirituality and that trying to make either of these belief systems synonymous with mindfulness would wreak havoc for me. Neither are synonymous. But they can both work alongside mindfulness. Mindfulness is not just about meditating or practicing yoga or attending a sound bath and so on. Mindfulness is the practice of being present. And you do not need to meditate or do yoga or listen to a sound bath to be present. You can. All I am trying to point out is that it is not the only way to be mindful.
Oh, and don’t get me wrong, I still work with astrology and tarot and crystals. Interestingly though, I don’t mediate much anymore…not in the traditional sense of it. Same goes for my continued fascination with the scientific world (as I write this, I am deeply considering doing a PhD). A scar left over from my prior endeavours? Perhaps. Or, as I said earlier, it is a lost practice because I do not have an established routine anymore.
My understanding of mindfulness now is one where I do not believe I need to meditate for an hour in the morning and an hour at night every day, but one where I find presence in a series of little moments slipping in and out all throughout my day. Mindful moments.
One of the major things I have learned over the years is that mindfulness does not always translate to soft, slow, still moments like a yoga retreat, Mindfulness is where we find presence. And that can be anywhere: swimming alongside fish in the ocean, doing a crossword puzzle, painting a new art piece, cleaning up your kitchen after cooking dinner, running a marathon with a thousand other people or heck, dancing wildly at a crowded underground rave to blasting techno music. It does not have to be stillness and solitude.
This is what I wish to promote. The vast variation mindfulness consists of. Because this is what makes it accessible to everyone. Not everyone enjoys sitting still for long. Not everyone can handle yoga. Not everyone finds presence through stillness. One of my favourite ways to exist mindfully is when I am at a dance class/meetup, and we are outside in the city with speakers streaming really good tunes dancing away in a happy group baring our souls to each other and the world. Which is the total opposite of what we have been told mindfulness is.
To be honest, I set out to share my journey with mindfulness and I am not entirely sure I have. Somewhat I suppose. I will aim to get back on track.
I do want to say that over the course of my extensive research, my perspectives of mindfulness have been reshaped several times over and they still are. Which leads me to say this: mindfulness (like many disciplines) is an ever-evolving experience; therefore our journey will constantly evolve as we go along. And, although I will never quite leave the researcher phase, I will be stepping back from it (well, this particular type of research) and shifting my focus to practical applications of mindfulness. I am grateful for what I have been shown and now it is time to share it.
This is also why I wish to turn this business into a publication as well as a database: I have so much knowledge in my head that I wish to share and some of it is best shared through the written word. I can verbalize it better this way.
To sum up: my relationship with mindfulness has changed a massive amount in just 4 years. It is to be expected. The ways in which it changed were not though. One thing that remains the same is this: mindfulness is more than just meditation. My focus for this year is to replenish my routine with more suitable practices and dynamics.
On a super introspective level, I have always found ‘mindfulness’ to be a bit of a mouthful so I will be using the term ‘wellness’ as well as the phrase ‘mindful living’ more from now on. They better encompasses what it is I do anyways.
With that I say adieu and I hope you greatly enjoy the rest of your day! If you want to know more about me then please click here.
Until next time,
Jamila
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